I miss Gargoyles.
I really, really do.
Guys. I miss Gargoyles. That cartoon was amazing!
Full disclosure: I’m processing my thoughts as I write this at this very moment. But I don’t think it’s simply about the cartoon itself.
My therapist, a fantastic human, taught me a very simple technique in self-assessment: Just ask yourself “Why?” over and over again. Dig deeper and deeper. Much like a child would when trying to understand something. They ask “Why?” till they get an answer that satisfies them, and not a moment sooner.
“Don’t touch that, baba.” Why?
“Because it will hurt you.” Why?
“Because it’s hot.” Why?
“Because it’s on the fire.” Why?
“Because I’m boiling it to make it safe to drink.” Why?
“Because there are germs inside.”
(After a quick pause:) What are germs?
It’s a fascinating level of curiosity that I admire.
So here we are. As soon as this thought popped up into my mind, I’ve started asking myself that series of whys.
“I miss Gargoyles.” Why?
“I don’t know. I just miss it.” Why?
“It was an amazing cartoon, to be honest.”
Wasn’t it? What made it so amazing?
“Now that I think about it, it was one of the few cartoons with a long-form storyline.”
That’s actually quite true!
“Yeah! So you could never miss an episode! Or else you’d miss a crucial plot point!”
Oh, those times when KPLC would cut off power…
“Oh my goodness! The frustration! Especially when last week’s episode ended in Goliath or Angela in a dangerous situation… With that ‘To be continued…’ title card at the end…”
Right? And especially after you’d had everything ready…
“YES! Homework done so that the parents don’t ask questions, or at least you’d shared your plan for the homework with them… There was a whole routine and ritual to it!”
“OH! And remember Nesquik?!”
Yes, I remember Nesquik!
“YES! Hot cup of Nesquik ready, all milk, no water, because at least then, the milk was more affordable…”
(laughing quietly) Yes. The milk was certainly more affordable.
“And at least we could drink milk then.”
(laughing out loud)
Quick moment of disclosure, and an edit after-the-fact: New KCC just released a line of lactose-free milk. Which I’ve been having over the last week and a half. So I now have the power to make myself Nesquik again! Yay!Except, you know, no Nesquik in Kenya. So there goes that.
*pause* So why do you miss Gargoyles?
(quietly) “Because of that routine, I guess.”
What about that routine?
“I think it’s because it felt safe. I didn’t have to think about much. Pretty much everything was provided for. And I knew my parents loved me. And there was a level of reassurance knowing that they’d be someone to run back to when I felt uncertain. Someone to ask the questions when I didn’t understand.”
So why do you miss Gargoyles right now?
“I guess I want that feeling of safety. Even if it’s just for a moment.”
Don’t you feel safe now?
“Nothing makes sense anymore. You can work hard, you can give it everything you have, you can plan as much as you like… But just one think out of your control and it all goes to hell. It feels like a perpetual wrestling match — except it’s very, very real, with The Undertaker as your never-tiring opponent.”
(quietly) “Yeah. That’s what it feels like.”
*silence* So why do you miss Gargoyles right now?
“This made sense then. Nothing makes sense right now.”
And how does that make you feel?
“Exposed. Unsafe. Vulnerable.”
Do you think you’ll be alright?
“I don’t know.”
*silence* You know it’s fine not to know, yes?
“I don’t know.”
“I just want to watch Gargoyles right now.”